Conscious Releasing is an intuitive process, not an intellectual technique. Just like hugging someone we trust and care for.
Although there are some questions of Self-inquiry that can be helpful aids for Conscious Releasing to be effective, our response to those questions must be an intuitive response. Click here to learn more about the process and questions of Self-inquiry
Intellectual analysis can never free us from past pain; and can never free us from the delusion of who we once thought, or imagined, ourselves to be.
The essence, or spirit, of Conscious Releasing cannot be understood intellectually. It is simply impossible. Nor can Releasing be practiced as some kind of “add on” technique that is “done” by mind.
In reality, mind does nothing. The power of Conscious Releasing lies in our surrender of all intention and desire to release through some kind of mental strategy.
Releasing is a “being” process, not a mental “doing” activity.
The problem with Conscious Releasing
The main problem that some people encounter with Conscious Releasing is that it is so simple and natural that it easily slips “under the radar” of mind.
Releasing is one of the simplest and most natural of processes. Which is great. Personally I love the word “simple”. And yet it is Releasing’s very simplicity that can make it challenging to describe and understand in our rational, intellectually orientated culture.
My hope is that an understanding of somatic releasing will bring clarity to the practice of Conscious Releasing, which in my experience is one of the most profound of healing-awakening processes.
Somatic Releasing (aka “conscious hugging’)
Think of releasing as being like a physical melting hug that you give to, and receive from, a lover or close and trusted friend.
The spirit of releasing is present in this ever-so natural human interaction.
And when you understand how we spontaneously release when enjoying a conscious hug, you will know experientially – not merely intellectually – how simple and effortless releasing truly is.
Btw: If you experience any struggle or effort or tension when attempting to release, it’s a sure sign of “ego hi-jack” kicking in. The effort is mind attempting to take over and do what will happen naturally when mind gets out of the way …
Somatic Releasing is …
- Emotionally intimate
- Intuitive and spontaneous
- Nothing to do with “spiritual” or psychological learned knowledge
Notice that when you are in a conscious hugging embrace you know intuitively when it is time to release the one you are embracing, move away from them, and to allow them to move away from you.
Notice that this is not something you have to study or think about. All that’s required from you is to bring awareness to your body, feel the feeling of relationship, and to listen to the subtle guidance of body-awareness.
And of course to act on that guidance.
I think everyone reading this will know the joyful release of tension that comes about spontaneously when we relax into the embrace of another whom we trust and love. This joyful release of tension is the essence of Somatic Releasing.
Notice that it requires no effort whatever to release – but needs a huge amount of effort to perpetuate the tension. Suffering is hard work! 🙂
Here’s a simple sequence of steps that you may find helpful:
- Admit to yourself the truth of your negative or limiting experience (noticing your thoughts, emotions, actions, and your soap-opera story), which will be felt as a contraction – like a fist – somewhere in the torso of your body.
- Notice – be aware of – where you feel the contraction most strongly.
- Then simply feel the feeling of contraction …and, as awareness, consciously embrace, or hug, the feeling of contraction.
- And welcome the feeling of contraction into awareness just as you naturally welcome the energetic bodily feeling of someone you love and care for.
- And now choose to allow it to release, in just the same way you know how to release both an inner tension and your partner during a physical embrace.
- And relax attention into the silent awareness – alive as the timeless now, alive prior to all experience – and which is simply witnessing …
Complete the above process by yourself, with a human witness, or in a conscious hugging embrace with someone you trust and care for. If you choose to be humanly witnessed, which can be very powerful, I suggest the following guidelines:
- Verbally describe your experience while your trusted friend, who will act as your non-judgemental “witness”, simply listens with unconditional acceptance.
- Your witness can share their experience with you but should refrain from giving any intellectual/psychological/spiritual advice.
- They can demonstrate their listening to you by nodding their head and offer gentle supportive “uh-huhs” and “mmms” and even “yes” – the idea is not that they try to be an inanimate object but rather a warm conduit for loving presence.
- Your witness must also refrain from all judgement and criticism of you – including telling you where you are going “wrong” or giving you their interpretation of your words and experience – certainly verbally, and preferably also in their unspoken thinking.
- Your witness should do their best to simply “be with” you, by offering their unconditional acceptance and loving presence.
Now, a brief word of caution. Many of us run a “I can manage this alone” behavioral pattern. I know this pattern all too well.
And … with many people I have, sadly, found it to be appropriate.
Few there are it seems who are able, or even willing, to listen to another with true unconditional acceptance without giving in to the egoic temptation to offer their advice, judgements, criticisms and interpretations.
So please choose your witnessing friend carefully. And when you find the one who is to be your living witness, value them as one of life’s greatest gifts.